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Congratulations, you’ve made it this far. You might be asking yourself, what do I do now? Being a groom is complex and we’re here to walk you through it. This is going to be a tough time for your bride. She’ll be running around, making phone calls and big decisions, pulling out her hair and very possibly ignoring you and your relationship. Never fear. This is normal.
Here are our top tips to being the best, most supportive groom you can be during this trying time.
Help plan the wedding! Grooms are more involved in wedding planning now than they’ve ever been. Contribute ideas, attend venue appointments and don’t procrastinate. Helping out with planning is a great way to show your bride you love her. Plus, it gives you a chance to help personalize your big day—because, yes, it’s your day too!
IDEA: Get a head start on the honeymoon planning and schedule an appointment with a travel agent.
Don’t just say “no” or “uh-huh.” Give real feedback. If you don’t like something, tell your partner why you don’t like it. Do the same if you really love something and want to make sure it’s part of the big day. Again, this is your day, too, and you want to make sure it’s special to both of you. Your bride is sure to understand if you really care about something.
IDEA: Create a list of songs that are meaningful to the two of you. Give them to the DJ or band before the wedding so they can be incorporated into the playlist. And don’t forget to make a list of “DO NOT PLAYS” for them as well!
Don’t wait to be asked to do something. Take the initiative on things that you know are your strong suit. It will show interest and let her know that you’re willing to help! Make the calls telling a vendor you’re not using them if she’s scared to. Book the hotel block, because how hard can that really be, right? Run interference on the budget because you know if you don’t do it, no one will.
IDEA: Rally your groomsmen and start planning your wedding day look. This is something you can and should get a head start on. Trust us, she’ll be thrilled to cross that one off her to-do list.
No doubt wedding planning can be stressful. When your partner needs to vent, let them. Be empathetic. Don’t act like it’s not a big deal. A hug will go a lot further than an eye roll. Sure, you’re tired of all the stress that is making her stressed, which is making your stressed. We get it. But it’ll all be over soon, you just have to make it through the next few months without any life-ruining arguments.
IDEA: Treat her to a spa day one month out from the wedding. By this point, she’ll need a day to herself! Bonus points if you go too and get a men’s facial in preparation for the wedding. Real men take care of their skin.
Involve your families and help bridge the needs and desires of your partner, their family and your family. It’s your job to play referee with your family, not hers. Make sure both your parents and your partner feel heard and that conflicts during wedding planning are dealt with maturely and promptly.
IDEA: Invite your parents and your future in-laws over for dinner early in the planning to discuss plans and ideas for the wedding. Determine who they would like to include on the guest list and any family traditions that might be included in the ceremony or reception. It’s better to take care of these early than to run into roadblocks of conflict later.
Enjoy the planning while it lasts and enjoy helping your future-spouse because your wedding day will fly bye. In the end remember, it’s about the two of you and your future. Have fun and don’t forget champagne makes everything better. Cheers!