Shortly after you get engaged and set a date, the next task at hand is generally selecting the members of your wedding party, specifically the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Keep in mind that it’s best to do this anywhere from 10–12 months in advance, providing you have that much time, of course.
Like any undertaking, assembling your wedding party can be challenging and downright daunting, especially if you have a large network. If you find yourself confused or in between who to ask, we’ve created some tips solely for you.
Yes, the million dollar question is—Who do you pick? Here are our top two suggestions:
You grew up with these people—in the same household at some point, nonetheless. They know you. Sometimes too well. You may not be the best of friends, but the bond of family is undoubtedly forever. With that said, consider your siblings first before anyone else.
We collect friends all throughout life. We stay close with some, and with others, we don’t—we drift apart. When you’re thinking about who will stand next to on your wedding day, pick those in your current inner circle. They know who you are at this point in time and where you want to go in life. These are the folks who are here to grow alongside you and share both of life’s ups and downs. If you’re fortunate enough to have called that person a friend since childhood, congratulations. If not, that’s OK, too. Friends are friends like love is love. When you have something special, you just know.
Of course, picking your wedding party doesn’t come without its worries. Here’s what you shouldn’t stress over:
Friends Who Asked You
You may believe it’s a faux pas to not choose someone who asked you to be in their wedding, but it’s not. Think of this way, it’s your special day—it isn’t about formalities. Getting married is about embracing the life you want and what’s right for you. It’s an auspicious occasion and the people who mean the most should be beside you, not someone who used to be a close friend
Friends with Kids
It’s a common misconception that friends with kids may not have the extra time or want to help out with wedding festivities and engagements. This simply isn’t true. In fact, from a pragmatic standpoint, these individuals sometimes end up being better about time-management and juggling wedding responsibilities. Friends who are parents may have a lot going on in their lives, but it doesn’t mean they can’t or don’t want to be there for you. If they’re the kind of parents who show up for their children, they surely will know how to do the same for you. Remember, when something is important to someone, they will make time.
Obviously, there are many factors that influence the decision-making process for selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen. Here are a few others you will want to look at before making a final decision.
Your venue’s size may play a role in how many people you can have in your wedding party, especially if it’s on the smaller side.
If you’re trying to be conscious of your spendings, keep in mind that for every bridesmaid or groomsmen you enlist, you will want to stash away anywhere from $50 to $150 per person for wedding party gifts. Of course, you may opt to pay for other expenses that will include members of your wedding party as well, like the rehearsal dinner, for example.
This is highly unlikely, but in the off chance your chosen friend can’t be in the wedding party due to another obligation, like having already committed to another wedding, it’s not a bad idea to have another plan in mind. This plan may look like downsizing the wedding party size all together or asking someone else to stand in their place.
Average Party Size
It doesn’t matter how many bridesmaids or groomsmen you have, but the standard number on each side is usually five people. Larger wedding parties will have 12 of each. While having the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen might be more aesthetically balanced, having an odd number is OK, too.
There are no set rules about having a man of honor or a lady groomsmen. If you have anyone in your life that you want to include, talk it over with your fiancé and determine whether or not this even matters to either one of you.
Ideally, these tips are here to help you choose your wedding party, but it doesn’t mean they will point you 100 percent in the right direction. If you need further clarity, go with your gut. You can never go wrong with your gut instincts.
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