How to Assemble Your Wedding Party

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Short­ly after you get engaged and set a date, the next task at hand is gen­er­al­ly select­ing the mem­bers of your wed­ding par­ty, specif­i­cal­ly the brides­maids and grooms­men. Keep in mind that it’s best to do this any­where from 10–12 months in advance, pro­vid­ing you have that much time, of course.

Like any under­tak­ing, assem­bling your wed­ding par­ty can be chal­leng­ing and down­right daunt­ing, espe­cial­ly if you have a large net­work. If you find your­self con­fused or in between who to ask, we’ve cre­at­ed some tips sole­ly for you.

Deciding on the Who

Yes, the mil­lion dol­lar ques­tion is—Who do you pick? Here are our top two sug­ges­tions:

Sib­lings

You grew up with these people—in the same house­hold at some point, nonethe­less. They know you. Some­times too well. You may not be the best of friends, but the bond of fam­i­ly is undoubt­ed­ly for­ev­er. With that said, con­sid­er your sib­lings first before any­one else.

Best Friends

We col­lect friends all through­out life. We stay close with some, and with oth­ers, we don’t—we drift apart. When you’re think­ing about who will stand next to on your wed­ding day, pick those in your cur­rent inner cir­cle. They know who you are at this point in time and where you want to go in life. These are the folks who are here to grow along­side you and share both of life’s ups and downs. If you’re for­tu­nate enough to have called that per­son a friend since child­hood, con­grat­u­la­tions. If not, that’s OK, too. Friends are friends like love is love. When you have some­thing spe­cial, you just know.

bride and groom with groomsmen in blue suits

Dismissing Doubt

Of course, pick­ing your wed­ding par­ty doesn’t come with­out its wor­ries. Here’s what you shouldn’t stress over:

Friends Who Asked You

You may believe it’s a faux pas to not choose some­one who asked you to be in their wed­ding, but it’s not. Think of this way, it’s your spe­cial day—it isn’t about for­mal­i­ties. Get­ting mar­ried is about embrac­ing the life you want and what’s right for you. It’s an aus­pi­cious occa­sion and the peo­ple who mean the most should be beside you, not some­one who used to be a close friend

Friends with Kids

It’s a com­mon mis­con­cep­tion that friends with kids may not have the extra time or want to help out with wed­ding fes­tiv­i­ties and engage­ments. This sim­ply isn’t true. In fact, from a prag­mat­ic stand­point, these indi­vid­u­als some­times end up being bet­ter about time-man­age­ment and jug­gling wed­ding respon­si­bil­i­ties. Friends who are par­ents may have a lot going on in their lives, but it doesn’t mean they can’t or don’t want to be there for you. If they’re the kind of par­ents who show up for their chil­dren, they sure­ly will know how to do the same for you. Remem­ber, when some­thing is impor­tant to some­one, they will make time.

bride and bridesmaids

Other Considerations

Obvi­ous­ly, there are many fac­tors that influ­ence the deci­sion-mak­ing process for select­ing brides­maids and grooms­men. Here are a few oth­ers you will want to look at before mak­ing a final deci­sion.

Space

Your venue’s size may play a role in how many peo­ple you can have in your wed­ding par­ty, espe­cial­ly if it’s on the small­er side.

Bud­get

If you’re try­ing to be con­scious of your spend­ings, keep in mind that for every brides­maid or grooms­men you enlist, you will want to stash away any­where from $50 to $150 per per­son for wed­ding par­ty gifts. Of course, you may opt to pay for oth­er expens­es that will include mem­bers of your wed­ding par­ty as well, like the rehearsal din­ner, for exam­ple.

Avail­abil­i­ty

This is high­ly unlike­ly, but in the off chance your cho­sen friend can’t be in the wed­ding par­ty due to anoth­er oblig­a­tion, like hav­ing already com­mit­ted to anoth­er wed­ding, it’s not a bad idea to have anoth­er plan in mind. This plan may look like down­siz­ing the wed­ding par­ty size all togeth­er or ask­ing some­one else to stand in their place.

Aver­age Par­ty Size

It doesn’t mat­ter how many brides­maids or grooms­men you have, but the stan­dard num­ber on each side is usu­al­ly five peo­ple. Larg­er wed­ding par­ties will have 12 of each. While hav­ing the same num­ber of brides­maids and grooms­men might be more aes­thet­i­cal­ly bal­anced, hav­ing an odd num­ber is OK, too.  

Gen­der

There are no set rules about hav­ing a man of hon­or or a lady grooms­men. If you have any­one in your life that you want to include, talk it over with your fiancé and deter­mine whether or not this even mat­ters to either one of you.

groom and groomsmen in black tuxedos

Gut Instincts

Ide­al­ly, these tips are here to help you choose your wed­ding par­ty, but it doesn’t mean they will point you 100 per­cent in the right direc­tion. If you need fur­ther clar­i­ty, go with your gut. You can nev­er go wrong with your gut instincts.

There are so many small details that go into cre­at­ing your dream wed­ding, but that does­n’t mean you should have to stress. Gen­er­a­tion Tux lets you sam­ple your cloth­ing before the big day, in the com­fort of your liv­ing room. See what we have to offer to make your union extra­or­di­nary.

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