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How to Write the Perfect Thank You Note

Writ­ing thank you notes, while not a par­tic­u­lar­ly chal­leng­ing task, is cer­tain­ly a daunt­ing one. The wed­ding is over and you just got back from your hon­ey­moon, the last thing you want to do is sit down and crank out a hun­dred thank you notes. Hel­lo, carpal tun­nel. But it has to be done and this is not some­thing you want to put off.

If you are blessed enough to have a groom with good pen­man­ship, you can at least share the bur­den. If you don’t, how­ev­er, then the only thing that will ease this very tedious task is hav­ing a plan of attack.

The num­ber one rule to fol­low when writ­ing thank you notes is to be as gen­uine and spe­cif­ic as pos­si­ble. Four or five sen­tences is enough, but they have to be good.

Every thank you note should include the fol­low­ing:

bride and groom in blue suit posing with wedding cake and love marquee letters in lousiville

Personal Greeting

Use what­ev­er name in your greet­ing that you would call that per­son to their face. “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith” isn’t nec­es­sary if you know them as Bob and Sal­ly.

Thank You

Start by say­ing thank you, obvi­ous­ly. There’s a cou­ple ways you can do this. You can say:

  • Thank you for the spe­cif­ic item
  • Thank you for your kind gift
  • Thank you for shar­ing our spe­cial day.

Or any vari­a­tion there­of. When thank­ing them for their gift, be as spe­cif­ic as pos­si­ble using brands, col­ors, etc. (The KitchenAid mix­er, the mono­grammed tow­els, the white and gold serv­ing dish).

Using the Gift

Explain how you plan on using the gift. “I’m so excit­ed to use the KitchenAid mix­er to make grandma’s choco­late chip cook­ies.” Or for mon­e­tary gifts, some­thing along the lines of “Your gen­eros­i­ty will help us put a down­pay­ment on our dream home.” Avoid say­ing words like mon­ey, cash, or check, though. Stick to some­thing vague, like gift or gen­eros­i­ty.

Personal Touch

This is an option­al sen­tence, but your thank you note will real­ly feel spe­cial if you men­tion some­thing spe­cif­ic about them. The kind words they said to you on your wed­ding day, the dance you shared, an inside joke, etc.

vintage wedding reception decor

The Future

Say that you can’t wait to see them again. If pos­si­ble, be spe­cif­ic. “We look for­ward to see­ing you again this Christ­mas.”

Thank You Again

For your last sen­tence, thank them again. For being there, for their gift. Thank them for every­thing.


Sin­cere­ly is a fine salu­ta­tion, but with fam­i­ly and close friends, “love” or “with love” or some­thing else is more fit­ting.

This struc­ture is great for your run of the mill thank you notes, but keep in mind that you should also send thank you notes to peo­ple who played a big­ger part in your big day. Your brides­maids, close fam­i­ly mem­bers, etc. You’ll want to thank these peo­ple for not only any gifts they might have giv­en you, but for also keep­ing you sane. The same orga­ni­za­tion works, just be sure to add in a lit­tle extra appre­ci­a­tion.

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