In the 21st century, it can seem silly to say that the groom should manage certain parts of the wedding while the bride handles everything else. Most couples these days are planning their day as a team and will choose tasks based on their interests and strengths. That said, if you’re stuck deciding how to delegate responsibilities during wedding planning, start with these traditional groom duties and add from there.
What does the groom usually manage during wedding planning and on the Big Day?
His attire and his groomsmen’s attire
It’s a no brainer that the groom should manage his own formalwear and that of his groomsmen too. Some decisions you’ll have to make but might not have considered yet include changing your attire to stand out from your groomsmen, the great suit or tux debate, and if you want to wear a bow tie or necktie.
Gifts for his groomsmen
Groomsmen gifts are a great way to say thanks to your dudes. They can be unique to each person or they can be unique to you. Have some fun, but be sure to keep some practical day-of items included as well. The always-helpful Martha Stewart has some awesome ideas here.
Making a toast
It’s common for the groom to make a toast at the wedding (or these days, the couple can both say a few words). If you’re giving a toast, keep it short and sweet. Thank everyone for coming, thank your parents and families, thank your wedding party, and thank your bride.
Choosing wedding bands
There are many things to consider when choosing both the bride and the groom’s wedding bands. Will they be simple? Will they have diamonds? What type of metal? Your bride may already have a vision for hers, so we suggest starting there. She may want something simple or she may want to go for the “stacked” look.
For the groom, be sure it matches your lifestyle. If you do physical labor, you may want to choose a ring that can be cut-off in emergencies or maybe something more durable and lightweight like a silicone band. There are many different materials of rings and styles to choose from. GQ has compiled some great options here.
Planning the celebratory post-nuptial adventure for you and your bride is one of the best parts of planning a wedding! Checkout our Honeymoon Planning blog for ideas and top places to travel for 2017.
Other areas to consider:
Music sets the tone for any event. The biggest decision you will have to make is between a live band or a DJ. There are perks to both and certainly budgetary needs to consider. A great band can make a really memorable reception with their improvisation and interactivity, but they are typically pricier than a DJ. If you care a lot about having a specific style or song played, make sure to create a detailed list for your music provider – and create a “Do Not Play” list of any songs you can’t stand.
Also, make sure your wedding party entrance is fun, but appropriate. Think more Ice Ice Baby and less Get Your Freak On.
This one’s a mutual responsibility. Get together with you bride-to-be and decide the tone and level of personalization you want to include Are there readings that mean something to your relationship? Is there a certain song that your bride wants to walk down the aisle to? Will you write your own vows? You don’t have to include every component of a traditional ceremony. Just remember to make it yours and make it memorable. And your officiant can help. Just make sure to check local laws – you often need to include certain elements (like stating both of your full names once and consenting to be married) to make it legal.
Food and beverage
Depending on your venue and caterer, you may be able to customize a large part of your menu. Want to include your favorite foods, or foods that are special to your families? Do you want to get creative with appetizers or interactive stations? Talk to your caterer and see if they can make your dreams a reality. If you’ve always wanted to have an ice cream sundae bar at your wedding, now is the time to speak up. It’s your day after all.
These days, the groom’s job is to do much more than just show up and pop bottles. The more involved you are, the more satisfying the big day will be! Good luck.