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Who Traditionally Makes Which Wedding Decisions

Your wed­ding day is one of the most impor­tant in your life, but it’s infi­nite­ly more impor­tant to your bride. Doubt this? Answer the fol­low­ing ques­tions:

  • How much did your ring cost com­pared to the set your bride will wear?

  • Which is more dif­fi­cult and expen­sive: rent­ing your tux from this web­site, or shop­ping for, get­ting fit­ted for and buy­ing a wed­ding dress at a brick and mor­tar store?

  • Will you be chang­ing into a sep­a­rate out­fit for the recep­tion?

  • Have you pur­chased a sub­scrip­tion to Mod­ern Groom mag­a­zine?

  • Some brides wear tiaras dur­ing the cer­e­mo­ny, but how many grooms have you seen rock­ing a crown?

There are lit­er­al­ly hun­dreds of deci­sions that need to be made when plan­ning a wed­ding and, yes, a few dozen that pop up on the wed­ding day. Know­ing when to take charge, when to nego­ti­ate and when to retire to anoth­er room is a crit­i­cal skill that all grooms need to mas­ter. Imme­di­ate­ly. The fol­low­ing is a list of deci­sion areas, grouped by who is respon­si­ble for mak­ing them.

engaged couple looking at generation tux online

Groom’s decisions:

  • Best man and grooms­men

  • Booze for the rehearsal din­ner and recep­tion

  • Grooms­men gifts

  • Song for the groom’s dance with his moth­er

  • Seat­ing at the recep­tion for the groom’s fam­i­ly and friends

  • Bach­e­lor Par­ty

Bride’s decisions:

  • Bridal Show­ers and Bach­e­lorette Par­ty

  • Bride’s dance tune with father

  • Brides­maids and brides­maid dress­es

  • Seat­ing at the recep­tion for her friends and fam­i­ly

  • Wed­ding dress

Joint decisions

Every oth­er deci­sion can be made togeth­er. This includes your venues for the rehearsal din­ner, cer­e­mo­ny and recep­tion; menu; cer­e­mo­ny details; music; etc.

Our advice is to speak up when it’s your deci­sion, share your opin­ion when it’s a joint deci­sion and shut up when it’s her deci­sion. But what­ev­er the deci­sion area, if your bride takes an oppos­ing view after you’ve giv­en your input, be gen­tle­man­ly enough to let her have the last word, unless it’s a deal-break­er. Remem­ber, two days after the wed­ding you won’t remem­ber how much peo­ple liked the groomsmen’s bou­ton­nieres. But your bride will like­ly remember—and rem­i­nisce about—every detail of the day. After all, she has prob­a­bly been look­ing for­ward to this day for far longer than you have.

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