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Choosing the people who will make up your wedding party is not always an easy task. After all, these will be the friends and family members who will not only be at your side on the wedding day, but throughout a large portion of the planning process. That means selecting your groomsmen (or gal) is about more than who looks great in a suit or tux or who knows how to tie a mean bowtie (although those things definitely help). So before you ask anyone to be one of your main people on the big day, answer these six simple questions.
The goal here is to have people that are going to support you not only during your engagement, but also through your marriage, says Laura Maddox of Magnolia Celebrates. “You want them to be able to call you on your stuff while also being able to have a great time together,” she notes.
While this is important for some, it may not be a good fit for everyone. But if you do decide to have members of your family in the party, don’t forget about the bride’s side, says Kevin Dennis of Fantasy Sound Event Services. “For example, if your partner has a brother, it can be a thoughtful gesture to extend the invitation to him for a spot as one of your groomsmen,” he explains.
Dennis also points out that your wedding party will be there for setup, coordinating tasks, and running errands, so you’ll want to choose responsible friends and family that you can depend on to get the job done. An easy way to stay on top of the tux/suit rental process is Generation Tux’s online system, which allows you to send them a link to the exact look to rent for the big day, and then keep track of everyone’s progress to make sure they’ll have their attire on time.
Heather Jones of Wente Vineyards points out that you shouldn’t feel obligated to enlist a groomsman you don’t fully get along with or trust to carry out the duties for your wedding day—even if that person is family. “They should be on board with what you want, rather than someone that will try to dictate the decisions of wedding planning. Set clear expectations as early on as possible,” she says.
Being in a wedding party is a huge commitment—especially when it comes to money. Jones suggests thinking about all of the travel costs, wedding festivities leading up to the day-of, attire, and other elements so that your potential groomsmen know what they’re signing up for. Let them know that if they can’t swing it, you can find another role for them during the big day, such as serving as an usher or reading a poem during the ceremony.
Feel free to throw gender norms out the window and invite anyone special in your life to stand on your side of the aisle with you. So if you have a sister or a female BFF, you can of course include her in the groomsmen party—as a groomsgal.
Once you have your wedding party finalized. make sure you all look your best. Start building your perfect suit or tux, set up your wedding party and invite them to get their rental set up—we’ll take care of the rest.