Guide to Having a Female Groomsman
She’s stood by your side through thick and thin. She’s been there for you, cheering you on as you hit your highest heights, and she always answered your 3 am calls when life got tough. You love her so much, and you want to honor her on your special day.
No, we’re not talking about your partner. We’re talking about your best friend. She’s just as important to you as the men in your life, so why shouldn’t she be able to stand next to you as you get ready to start your next chapter? The answer is: of course she should be up there.
As weddings become less constrained by outdated traditions and more aligned with modern mentalities, the concept of having gender-specific wedding parties is beginning to fall out of favor. Now, couples are inviting whoever they want to be a part of their wedding crew— and we’re here for it.
If your wedding party includes a woman or two, check out our handy guide to creating a modern groom’s party.
Get with the times! Women can do anything men can do— and that includes being an outstanding groomsman.
Still, when you decide to go with female groomsmen, there are a few things to pay attention to, from the ceremonial procession to apparel and pre-wedding activities. These are important aspects to think about in advance so that there aren’t any areas of stress or discomfort during the actual wedding.
A few frequently asked questions about having a female groomsman?
If not everybody in your wedding party identifies as male, then the term groomsman isn’t exactly accurate. In these situations, we usually stick to “groom’s party,” groom’s companions,” or “team groom”— trust us, everybody will know what you mean.
This is up to her— and you, of course. If your wedding also includes a team of bridesmaids, she might want to join in on some of their activities, like mani-pedis, or day-of makeup. Similarly, she may opt-out on the wedding-day trip to the barbershop, but the bottom line is to leave the choice up to her.
This is, again, a personal choice. Some couples prefer for their female groomsmen to match the men in the party, others prefer for them to match the bridesmaids, and some like the idea of her rocking a unique blend of both–think dress in the groom’s party colors or a suit that matches the bridal party theme. Generation Tux has all of the information you could want on female groomsman attire. Being in this formalwear game for a while, we have some ideas up our (beautifully constructed) sleeves.
When it comes to finding female groomsmen attire, we’re still in the wild west. Given that having female groom’s party members is still a relatively new tradition, the rules have yet to be written, and there are plenty of options.
How you want your female groomsman to dress on your big day isn’t dictated by tradition— it’s entirely up to her (as well as you and your partner.) In the weddings we’ve suited recently, we’ve noticed a few major trends:
Plenty of women are perfectly happy to rock a fitted suit or tux— and they always look stunning. If your female groomsman is keen to match her male counterparts, this is a great way to go. With Generation Tux, she’ll even be able to try on her suit privately at home rather than in a tailor shop, which can get uncomfortable when it’s filled with a bunch of dudes.
Regardless of the gender of their respective parties, plenty of couples are going for a less streamlined look on their big day. This generally means that the couple will choose a color palette and then the wedding party will be able to pick their own suits and dresses with that theme in mind. This model of doing things creates an eclectic look that lets everybody’s personal styles shine through. You can add restrictions in order to help you stand out as the groom— like asking your groom’s party to wear suits and to let you be the only one up there in a tux.
If menswear isn’t her style, your female groomsman can absolutely wear a dress. While the choice in dress is up to the both of you, she may prefer to match the bridesmaids’ dresses, or she may want to go with a dress inspired by the colors worn by the groom and his party. For example, if all the boys are rocking classic tuxedos with red accessories, she may choose to wear a black gown with ruby heels. Worried about color coordination? Check out our color swatches and then get some options shipped straight to your door (for free) so that you can see exactly what these hues look like in real life.
On the day of the wedding, it’s typical that bridesmaids and groomsmen get ready with their friends before their big moment. Often, there’s champagne involved, gift-giving, story-telling, and collective attempts at quelling nerves.
When your team of groomsmen includes a woman or two, a few questions may arise— such as where does she get ready?
The truth is, this answer is completely up to you and her. Some women split their time between the two parties, getting dressed and doing their hair and makeup over in the bridal suite before heading over to the groom suite to help everyone get ready. This option makes a lot of sense if your groomsman is friends with the bride and her party as well.
If your female BFF would prefer to just hang with you before the wedding, that works too! Just make sure there’s a private place for her to change, and remind your other groomsmen to be respectful of her space.
Of course, your female groomsman can and should be invited to your bachelor party. It would be an insult to exclude her entirely. Furthermore, every typical bachelor party activity that exists can and has been enjoyed by plenty of women before— yes, even those famous strip club adventures. That being said, whether you have a female groomsman or not, we think that it’s a good idea to check in with your wedding party about what activities they are comfortable with for a bachelor party.
Not everybody is into the classic bachelor party activities of cigars, whiskey, steaks, and strippers. People in your party, men AND women alike, might be sober, or vegan, allergic to smoke, or just really hate going to strip clubs. If you want your party to feel comfortable— they are your closest friends after all— it’s best to check in with them before making plans.
One way to make your bachelor party inclusive? Combine it with your partner’s send-off party. Joint parties allow your friends to get to know each other better, and they take some of the planning pressure off as the responsibility is usually divided across a bigger group.
No matter what she chooses to wear, where you choose to go for your bachelor party, or anything else, the most important thing to keep in mind with a female groomsman is to make sure that she’s treated with the same respect as the men in your party. Listen to her, ask her about her needs, and trust that she’ll tell you the truth. (FYI: this is also a great piece of marriage advice. You’re welcome.)
No matter who you choose for your wedding party, we’re here to make it special. In fact, if five of your groomsmen (female or otherwise) rent their wedding day ensemble with us, the groom’s rental is on the house. Generation Tux is truly the future of formalwear. Check out our website and read up on the latest wedding trends, create your own look online, and try everything on well in advance of your big day. Best of all? We deliver right to your door, have easy post-event drop off (just throw it in the mail), and we offer award-winning customer service to top it all off. No sweat. Just style.
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