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Guide to Having a Female Groomsman

Guide to Hav­ing a Female Grooms­man

She’s stood by your side through thick and thin. She’s been there for you, cheer­ing you on as you hit your high­est heights, and she always answered your 3 am calls when life got tough. You love her so much, and you want to hon­or her on your spe­cial day.

No, we’re not talk­ing about your part­ner. We’re talk­ing about your best friend. She’s just as impor­tant to you as the men in your life, so why shouldn’t she be able to stand next to you as you get ready to start your next chap­ter? The answer is: of course she should be up there. 

As wed­dings become less con­strained by out­dat­ed tra­di­tions and more aligned with mod­ern men­tal­i­ties, the con­cept of hav­ing gen­der-spe­cif­ic wed­ding par­ties is begin­ning to fall out of favor. Now, cou­ples are invit­ing who­ev­er they want to be a part of their wed­ding crew— and we’re here for it. 

If your wed­ding par­ty includes a woman or two, check out our handy guide to cre­at­ing a mod­ern groom’s par­ty. 

Female Groomsman

Can a Female be a Groomsman?

Get with the times! Women can do any­thing men can do— and that includes being an out­stand­ing grooms­men.

Grooms­men 101

Still, when you decide to go with female grooms­men, there are a few things to pay atten­tion to, from the cer­e­mo­ni­al pro­ces­sion to appar­el and pre-wed­ding activ­i­ties. These are impor­tant aspects to think about in advance so that there aren’t any areas of stress or dis­com­fort dur­ing the actu­al wed­ding. 

A few fre­quent­ly asked ques­tions about hav­ing a female grooms­man?

  • What do I call a female grooms­man?

If not every­body in your wed­ding par­ty iden­ti­fies as male, then the term grooms­man isn’t exact­ly accu­rate. In these sit­u­a­tions, we usu­al­ly stick to “groom’s par­ty,” groom’s com­pan­ions,” or “team groom”— trust us, every­body will know what you mean. 

  • Which events does she attend?

This is up to her— and you, of course. If your wed­ding also includes a team of brides­maids, she might want to join in on some of their activ­i­ties, like mani-pedis, or day-of make­up. Sim­i­lar­ly, she may opt-out on the wed­ding-day trip to the bar­ber­shop, but the bot­tom line is to leave the choice up to her. 

  • Who should she match: the brides­maids or grooms­men?

This is, again, a per­son­al choice. Some cou­ples pre­fer for their female grooms­men to match the men in the par­ty, oth­ers pre­fer for them to match the brides­maids, and some like the idea of her rock­ing a unique blend of both–think dress in the groom’s par­ty col­ors or a suit that match­es the bridal par­ty theme. Gen­er­a­tion Tux has all of the infor­ma­tion you could want on female grooms­man attire. Being in this for­mal­wear game for a while, we have some ideas up our (beau­ti­ful­ly con­struct­ed) sleeves. 

Female Groomsman Attire

When it comes to find­ing female grooms­men attire, we’re still in the wild west. Giv­en that hav­ing female groom’s par­ty mem­bers is still a rel­a­tive­ly new tra­di­tion, the rules have yet to be writ­ten, and there are plen­ty of options. 

What Should She Wear?

How you want your female grooms­man to dress on your big day isn’t dic­tat­ed by tra­di­tion— it’s entire­ly up to her (as well as you and your part­ner.) In the wed­dings we’ve suit­ed recent­ly, we’ve noticed a few major trends:

  • Suits Her, Too

Plen­ty of women are per­fect­ly hap­py to rock a fit­ted suit or tux— and they always look stun­ning. If your female grooms­man is keen to match her male coun­ter­parts, this is a great way to go. With Gen­er­a­tion Tux, she’ll even be able to try on her suit pri­vate­ly at home rather than in a tai­lor shop, which can get uncom­fort­able when it’s filled with a bunch of dudes.

  • A Col­or, Not a Style

Regard­less of the gen­der of their respec­tive par­ties, plen­ty of cou­ples are going for a less stream­lined look on their big day. This gen­er­al­ly means that the cou­ple will choose a col­or palette and then the wed­ding par­ty will be able to pick their own suits and dress­es with that theme in mind. This mod­el of doing things cre­ates an eclec­tic look that lets every­body’s per­son­al styles shine through. You can add restric­tions in order to help you stand out as the groom— like ask­ing your groom’s par­ty to wear suits and to let you be the only one up there in a tux.

  • A Spe­cial Dress

If menswear isn’t her style, your female grooms­man can absolute­ly wear a dress. While the choice in dress is up to the both of you, she may pre­fer to match the brides­maids’ dress­es, or she may want to go with a dress inspired by the col­ors worn by the groom and his par­ty. For exam­ple, if all the boys are rock­ing clas­sic tuxe­dos with red acces­sories, she may choose to wear a black gown with ruby heels. Wor­ried about col­or coor­di­na­tion? Check out our col­or swatch­es and then get some options shipped straight to your door (for free) so that you can see exact­ly what these hues look like in real life.

Where Should She Get Ready?

On the day of the wed­ding, it’s typ­i­cal that brides­maids and grooms­men get ready with their friends before their big moment. Often, there’s cham­pagne involved, gift-giv­ing, sto­ry-telling, and col­lec­tive attempts at quelling nerves. 

When your team of grooms­men includes a woman or two, a few ques­tions may arise— such as where does she get ready?

The truth is, this answer is com­plete­ly up to you and her. Some women split their time between the two par­ties, get­ting dressed and doing their hair and make­up over in the bridal suite before head­ing over to the groom suite to help every­one get ready. This option makes a lot of sense if your grooms­man is friends with the bride and her par­ty as well. 

If your female BFF would pre­fer to just hang with you before the wed­ding, that works too! Just make sure there’s a pri­vate place for her to change, and remind your oth­er grooms­men to be respect­ful of her space.

Female Groomsman at the Bachelor Party

Of course, your female grooms­man can and should be invit­ed to your bach­e­lor par­ty. It would be an insult to exclude her entire­ly. Fur­ther­more, every typ­i­cal bach­e­lor par­ty activ­i­ty that exists can and has been enjoyed by plen­ty of women before— yes, even those famous strip club adven­tures. That being said, whether you have a female grooms­man or not,  we think that it’s a good idea to check in with your wed­ding par­ty about what activ­i­ties they are com­fort­able with for a bach­e­lor par­ty.

Not every­body is into the clas­sic bach­e­lor par­ty activ­i­ties of cig­ars, whiskey,  steaks, and strip­pers. Peo­ple in your par­ty, men AND women alike, might be sober, or veg­an, aller­gic to smoke, or just real­ly hate going to strip clubs. If you want your par­ty to feel com­fort­able— they are your clos­est friends after all— it’s best to check in with them before mak­ing plans. 

One way to make your bach­e­lor par­ty inclu­sive? Com­bine it with your partner’s send-off par­ty. Joint par­ties allow your friends to get to know each oth­er bet­ter, and they take some of the plan­ning pres­sure off as the respon­si­bil­i­ty is usu­al­ly divid­ed across a big­ger group.

No mat­ter what she choos­es to wear, where you choose to go for your bach­e­lor par­ty, or any­thing else, the most impor­tant thing to keep in mind with a female grooms­man is to make sure that she’s treat­ed with the same respect as the men in your par­ty. Lis­ten to her, ask her about her needs, and trust that she’ll tell you the truth. (FYI: this is also a great piece of mar­riage advice. You’re wel­come.) 

No mat­ter who you choose for your wed­ding par­ty,  we’re here to make it spe­cial. In fact, if five of your grooms­men (female or oth­er­wise) rent their wed­ding day ensem­ble with us, the groom’s rental is on the house. Gen­er­a­tion Tux is tru­ly the future of for­mal­wear. Check out our web­site and read up on the lat­est wed­ding trends, cre­ate your own look online, and try every­thing on well in advance of your big day. Best of all? We deliv­er right to your door, have easy post-event drop off (just throw it in the mail), and we offer award-win­ning cus­tomer ser­vice to top it all off. No sweat. Just style. 

More Wed­ding Plan­ning Tips


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