In every person’s life, their wedding is the most important moment. Planning a wedding party isn’t as rewarding as a wedding itself, considering how much planning it involves. Many decisions have to be made, which guest you should invite, how many people you want there to celebrate this special moment with you, which cake to choose, DJ or wedding band.
One decision that falls on the groom’s back is deciding how many groomsmen they want standing alongside them while making the biggest and most significant commitment of their life. Groomsmen are there to make you feel safer, calmer, and more relaxed while standing on the altar and waiting for the love of your life to arrive.
If you’re wondering how many groomsmen you should have at your wedding, the answer isn’t that straightforward. The number of groomsmen depends on many factors, but your decision is crucial. The average number of groomsmen in most weddings is five. However, one of the factors this number can depend on is the size of the wedding. Smaller weddings usually have two to four, and larger ones five to eight. All in all, everything from two to 10 is normal.
Read on to learn everything you need to know about the number of groomsmen in a wedding, their duties, how to choose a groomsman, and more.
Many factors should be considered when deciding how many groomsmen you want to have at your wedding. Some elements are the already mentioned size of the wedding, the bridal party size for both parties, your preferences, and the reliability of groomsmen to perform given tasks.
Even though you’re the one deciding on the number of groomsmen on your special day, the wedding size also has a say. With small weddings, it’s not tasteful and convenient for you to have more than one or two groomsmen, especially if the guest list counts 20 or 30 people. How weird would the wedding ceremony look if there were more groomsmen and bridesmaids than regular guests?
For slightly bigger weddings with 50 to 100 guests, you can have up to five groomsmen but still not more than this. The groomsmen’s number can increase if the wedding exceeds 100 guests. For a wedding of this size, five to eight groomsmen are enough.
Furthermore, some people like to throw luxurious weddings with many guests, friends and family, acquaintances. For this kind of wedding with 200+ invitees having even 10 groomsmen by your side is acceptable.
The formality of the wedding is also a factor that determines the number of groomsmen. For ultra-formal weddings, it’s suitable for the groom to have more groomsmen, while casual weddings usually have only one or two. Casual or informal weddings are generally smaller and more straightforward, resulting in more casual organizations and ceremonies.
If you’re wondering if balancing between groomsmen and bridesmaids is required, the answer lies in this section.
You don’t have to match the number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. Even if the groom has more than the bride, that won’t affect the wedding ceremony. Picking someone close to you is way more important than filling the empty bridesmaid/groomsmen spot on the altar.
If you really want to have even bridal party, you can always add some of the guests as substitutes. However, this isn’t recommended considering you can hurt someone’s feelings. If that guest hasn’t been picked originally, picking them to fill an empty spot is degrading, insensitive, and offensive. The bride and groom should have someone that matters, and it’s important in their lives when they say their vows and commit to each other.
At the end of the day, no one will count how many bridesmaids or groomsmen are next to you and why the number isn’t even.
How your wedding will look and who will attend it depends on your and your bride’s personal preferences. When deciding on the number of your groomsmen, think about who you want to be by your side at the ceremony. Think about who your closest friends are and start from there.
Regarding your closest friends, your groomsmen don’t all have to be men. Some people have intimate female friends who deserve to be next to you at this significant moment. Society has come far from traditional weddings and restricting gender roles. Today having a groomswoman is accepted. You also don’t have to worry about her wearing a dress, since a tux is perfectly suitable for a woman.
You need someone reliable and responsible to support you and help you prepare and plan the wedding, ensure everything is going according to the plan during the wedding, and more.
Read our complete guide on what do groomsmen do to learn more about the responsibility of groomsmen before, during, and after the wedding..
When choosing your groomsman, you have to think about how that person will perform specific roles and responsibilities. You don’t want someone who will be late at every wedding-related event or forgets important dates and tasks.
Groomsmen had very different responsibilities throughout history. In biblical times groomsmen would kidnap the bride if the father disapproved of the marriage. In this instance, the bride usually knew about the arrangement. The groomsmen also were bodyguards protecting all the gifts the happy couple received.
Today these traditions are forgotten, and new ones take their place. Modern groomsmen are supposed to pay attention to the guests, help the groom stay calm, help with organizing the ceremony, give a speech, and so on.
Usually, grooms pick someone they are close to and trust. It’s most likely a member of a family, usually a brother or a sister or a close friend. If you have more close siblings, one gets to be the best man, while others get the role of groomsmen. Someone who you spend the most time with in your life is the most likely to be one of your groomsmen.
However, it’s not enough to just choose whoever is the closest to you. You must consider their personalities and give them responsibilities according to their merits and demerits. One person will be better at giving speeches, while the other will have better organizing skills.
Let’s dive in and see groomsmen’s responsibilities before and on the wedding day and what they need to perform post-wedding.
The bachelor party is the first event the best man and groomsmen need to plan. While this event is a best man’s responsibility, groomsmen are there to help. One groomsman can be assigned to make a bar reservation; the second can find entertainment; the third can be hired to find a rental house for the party, etc.
Picking attire should also be done before the wedding. The groom should have a different suit than the groomsmen and look better than anyone else, similar to the bride. Groomsmen’s responsibility is to give advice on other people’s attire when asked of them or help in shopping. They should also pick up their own tux, rented suits, jackets, or whatever they intend to wear to the wedding.
If you’re interested in groomsmen suit rental options, contact Generation Tux or visit our groomsmen page to get the best deal.
During the rehearsal dinner, groomsmen also have their duties. Everyone from the wedding should attend the rehearsal dinner, and you, as a groomsman, should get to know the bride and groom’s families, introduce yourself, and make their parents remember you’re an important part of their son or daughter’s life. Apart from that, after the best man gives the speech, groomsmen are also allowed to do so.
Before the ceremony starts and the guests start arriving, groomsmen should assist the groom with every need, help calm him down, and provide words of encouragement. In some weddings, groomsmen are also responsible for arranging the honeymoon car, adding “Just married,” and stuff like that.
An essential duty for a groomsman is to serve as an usher and show the guests where they will be sitting, where they can put the gifts, and so on.
After everyone is seated and the ceremony is about to begin, the groomsman is required to walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid or someone else and stand by the groom while they are getting married.
Another responsibility for a groomsman is to be there during the photo shoot and provide any necessary assistance. A perfect groomsman should be happy, funny, ready to dance, reliable, social, communicative, entertaining, and an excellent public speaker. Giving a speech is one of the most essential parts of the wedding party, and besides the best man, groomsmen are often asked to provide their speech and give their best wishes to the happy couple.
After the wedding, groomsmen should stay and help organize the gifts, invite remaining friends and family to brunch, take care of the guests who are leaving, and offer transportation to those who need it. Also, they must return the tux or the suit to the rental place and occasionally check the newlywed’s home while they are on their honeymoon.
Considering how much help groomsmen provide to the bride and groom after they are asked to fulfill this role, it’s important to express your gratitude. Sometimes wedding planning can last for years, and your groomsmen are there for you during that time.
It’s a challenging task to choose gifts for your groomsmen; each one has different styles and interests. Your options are to get the same gift for everyone and then adjust it and customize it based on their interests or get everyone a different unique present.
Some of the gift ideas for your groomsmen are wallets, cufflinks, personalized pocket knives or razors, cotton robes, wooden platters, mugs, beverage decanters, or a kit for whiskey or rum, for example, and many more.
If you’re still unsure whether someone should be your groomsman, making a list of questions and answering them can help you make the final decision.
Planning a wedding is stressful for every couple, and having reliable and trustworthy people beside you can make the job much easier. Best men and groomsmen should be your closest friends whom you can rely on. And even though there are some rules or, better yet, guidelines on how many groomsmen you should have at your wedding, the final decision comes down to your preferences.